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Is it better to be the big spoon or the little spoon?

How do you cuddle? When most people think spooning, they likely imagine the guy as the big spoon and the girl as the little spoon. It has to do with size (girls are usually smaller so it’s easier for them to fit in the little spoon position) but also with the perceived gender roles. Even in our progressive post-#MeToo world we sometimes have trouble imagining men in a vulnerable little spoon position and women as anything other than needing to protected (or dominated – just google “spooning” images and you’ll see).

But really, times have shifted. Many couples feel free to explore and experiment with different spooning arrangements and – you’ll be surprised – there are unexpected benefits two each position.

Little spoon

True, little spoon is a more vulnerable and more protected position, whose benefits on a cold winter night cannot be overstated. And you don’t have to be the smaller person in the couple to enjoy those benefits. Everyone wants to curl up into a foetal position and to be held sometimes, even if you’re a 6’1 muscular hairy guy.

Some scientists even suggest that men who like being the little spoon make better partners. Steve McKeown, a psychoanalyst and founder of The McKeown Clinic, said to Unilad:

“Men that prefer to be the little spoon are more likely to be submissive, sensitive, pleasing and in touch with their feminine side. A male that is in touch with his sensitive side can be more compassionate and definitely a contrast from the traditional male. Sensitivity is a very important trait as relationships tend to be complicated and can be problematic in today’s stress driven society.”

According to him, a guy’s preference for little-spooning is also a sign of a greater emotional intelligence:

“So a male who is in touch with his feelings tends to be more emotionally intelligent than those who are not, which is a major plus point in any relationship as communication is key. It is also considered men who are sensitive spend much more time with a woman they adore and love, and it’s acceptable to expect a lot more compromise.”

Big spoon

The big spoon is traditionally seen as a protector position fit for a bigger and stronger person, but this outdated view belies many hidden benefits of this position.

Being the big spoon gives you more control of the situation. Specifically, you control the intensity of the contact, as well as where and how much of it is happening. It is also easier to just roll away without waking anyone up if you’re fed up and just want to sleep on your side of the bed.

If your partner sleeps hot and you prefer cool, the big spoon is also the position for you.

If he snores, being the bigger spoon will make it easier for you to catch some zzz’s (maybe) as, at least you won’t be wrapped in the into the thunderstorm of his breathing.

Finally, the biggest hidden big spoon secret? It’s like being four again and cuddling with your giant fury warm human-sized teddy bear. What’s not to like?

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