Long distance relationships are common, afterall, we can’t always guarantee that the love of our life lives in the same city. It’s a big world and there’s millions of people in it, and sometimes the only way to be together is to choose to live far apart. Can this style of relationship work? Yes, for sure! However, just like any relationship dynamic, long distance relationships definitely have their fair share of ups and downs.
Here’s some tips on how to keep the connection and intimacy alive if you live far apart:
Think outside the box with intimacy
Intimacy = IN TO ME YOU SEE. Intimacy is absolutely essential if you live far apart, just as essential as it is for any relationship. Intimacy isn’t all about sex, it’s so much more than that. How can we create intimacy with distance, I hear you ask?! Well, there’s all sorts of ways you can do this. Writing to each other is a beautiful way to express how you’re feeling and these days it’s easy to jump online and write an email. Commit to consistently finding special ways that you can increase intimacy with your partner, this is a foundation of a healthy relationship.
Sex from a distance
In 2018 we are lucky because we have access to various online platforms that allow us to hang out in real time … on laptop or phone screens that is. ‘Skype sex’ is one way that you can enjoy sex together, only the downfall is that you don’t get the physical touch, nor do you get the cuddles afterwards. But instead of cuddles, it’s recommended that after the sex you take time to still be together online – this allows us to enjoy the aftermath of sex and creates safety (particularly for the woman) to open sexually and not feel abandoned afterwards, even if it’s not in person.
Communication is essential for a long distance relationship to work. Practice communicating clearly about how you’re feeling and what’s happening for you in day-to-day life. If time zones are a problem, schedule in a specific time that suits you both as a ‘date phone call’. Scheduling time together takes out the confusion of ‘when will I see you again?’ and creates consistency with quality time.
Boundaries and agreements
Be honest and open and as a couple set up agreements for the relationship. For example, establish if you are monogamous, or polyamorous, or open. And once established, what that means for you both. It’s important that boundaries are set up by each person in the relationship so that you are both on the same page.
About the writer
Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Coach, Tantra Practitioner and host of the Authentic Sex podcast. With a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner, Juliet facilitates 1:1 coaching sessions, educative workshops, and transformative online courses. Juliet’s purpose is to empower men and women to embrace their sexuality and transform their sex and relationships.