The first time you share a bed with someone can be filled with excitement, anticipation not to mention a few nerves.
Sharing a bed is a positive sign that the relationship is progressing to a new level and you’re getting comfortable with that significant other.
But…sharing a bed for the first time is not always the sweet scenario you see in the movies, instead you could be left wrestling for the sheets, wrapping a pillow around your head to block out foghorn snoring or wrangling out of an intertwined spooning position leaving your feeling sweaty and uncomfortable or dealing with your partner pressing the snooze button 1o times before getting up.
Rest assured there are ways you can overcome these obstacles with a little compromise it can be an easier transition to an enjoyable bliss.
Sharing a bed has its own set of rules.
Here are a few essential tips so to sharing a bed for the first time:
Think Ahead When Packing Your Night Bag.
When packing your night bag make sure it isn’t too large otherwise it will give your partner the impression you’re moving in. This could start the night with an unspoken awkwardness.
Preparation is key, when you’re getting ready pack a discreet bag and keep things compact.
Pack just the bare essentials, tooth brush, toothpaste, skin care something to sleep in, perfume and the next days outfit and protection if you think you’ll need it. Plus, some gum or breath mints, they do wonders for that dreaded morning breath.
You Both Love Sleeping on The Same Side Of The Bed.
So, you go to slide into the sheets and you realise you’re heading for the same side.
Studies have found that more than 10% of couples argue about which side of the bed to sleep on. That same study revealed that 80% of couples remained on that side through their entire relationship, it’s important to get this right early on. Yes, even on the first night!
Which side of the bed you prefer is influenced by several factors. People with claustrophobic tendencies tend to avoid sleeping next to a wall, then practical considerations such as being closer to a heater, away from the street light, and further away from the noise or being closer to the bathroom especially if you tend it get up through the night. Interestingly, studies show people who sleep on the left side of the bed tend to be happier!
As a rule of thumb, most men like to be closest to the door to feel like he can protect you from intruders.
Whatever your side is, negotiate it on the first night is always a good idea. Keep it playful and light hearted. According to cognitive behavioural therapist Paul DePomp, it is possible to retrain your body on your preferred side. A good way to do this is to sleep, upside down a few times to reset.
How To Deal With The War on Space
If you or your partner have slept alone for a long time, chances are you may not be prepared for the extra space to disappear particularly if you’ve had the bliss of sleeping like a star fish.
When sharing a bed, a queen bed with a 60-inch width quickly becomes 30 inches less. If this is a problem for you over time as you spend more nights together it might be time to consider upgrading to a king size bed it gives you 16 extra inches. It’s a good compromise to ensure your both comfortable.
Think about the pro’s and con’s, of a queen size bed it is good for giving you more space in your room and is perfect for couples that like to cuddle, however if you’re sleeping with a bed hog the upgrade is always best.
Over time there will be an adjustment phase, and you’ll find your happy medium for space.
What Do If One Of You Is A Blanket Hog?
If you’ve discovered your sharing the bed with someone who rolls up comfortably into a linen cocoon leaving you out in the elements to freeze, or perhaps you are the guilty party there are things you can do.
Turn up the heat, get a hot water bottle or try getting a larger blanket. If you have a sense of humour, go and buy yourself some blanket clamps. They are clamps designed to prevent your partner from stealing the blankets by tightly securing the blankets to your side of the bed.
If all else fails, get two blankets so that you can both have your own individual blankets. Over time sharing the bed will get easier and the blanket problem will likely to become a thing of the past. A good way to do this is to make your partner aware of their behaviour or be conscious of your own blanket habits, awareness is everything.
What To Do If Your Partner Snores
According to the National Sleep Foundation, 37 million adults suffer from snoring on a regular basis. Snoring is one of the biggest problems that couples face and is both detrimental to the snorer and their partner.
So, what do you do? Apart from getting yourself a really great set of earplugs.
Get to the bottom of the cause of snoring is highly recommended. It will be beneficial to both you and your partner. Snoring normally is a result of congestion, too much alcohol or sleeping on your back.
If you or your partner snore, try a nasal spray to get rid of congestion and or sleeping on your side to help the airways. Cut down on alcohol before bedtime. Over time if the problem persists you can see a specialist, there are remarkable treatments with lasers and other remedies, you’ll both appreciate the peaceful silence and a good night’s sleep.
If you want the first time sharing a bed to be memorable, and be as relaxing as possible you can help ease the nerves and set the mood for romance. Nice music, scented candles and a little laugher will go along way. Just know that over time you’ll get more, and more comfortable.
About the writer
I’m Samantha Jayne, Relationship Expert and Advisor to Channel 10’s The Bachelor and Internationally Accredited Dating Coach, and I’ve been helping single professionals find love and stay in love since 2005.